🌟 Terms Of Service Updated 🌟

Updates to my website won’t publish for a few days but there have been a couple of major changes (along with the tiniest rate increase) so I wanted to let everyone know here too. These are good things for a change! Lol. 😊 Only new Trello cards will contain the updated info, so if your card conflicts with this, the info in this journal trumps that:

🌈 Starting today, you may color any line art I make for you, or pay someone else to color them. You may NOT edit the line art itself, remove, resize or obscure my signature, or color the art to include gore, bodily fluids, or hateful content. When someone other than me colors my line art, you must ALWAYS clearly state that I did the line art and the coloring was done by someone else.

🌈 The limitation to posting the high-res online has been removed. You may post larger sizes than I provide freely. I will continue to provide a web-size for your convenience.

This changes apply retroactively if you’ve commissioned artwork from me before!

Blank Pages [Art by Nazz, Colors & BG by Me]

A Patreon reward line art I got from Nazznikonanuke that I colored and added a background to! It’s Gideon faced with a bit of a daunting prospect…

You’ll be getting acquainted with Gideon very soon, in the next chapter of Meganeea.

🍄 You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Original line art by Nazznikonanuke on FA.

Okay Maybe I Do Need To See The Doctor…

I’ve been trying hard to ignore this, since my MRIs came basically clear. But something is still not right.

You might recall I had a big scare with “exertion headaches” (basically… TMI ahead, though I’ve mentioned it before… thunderclap headaches when I orgasm. The headaches, and the orgasms, were new experiences and came together.) My doctor was deeply worried and I had two MRIs. Nothing seemed amiss so she said I could continue, using painkillers for the headaches when they happened.

As weeks wore on, I no longer had a headache every time. Then suddenly, I did again: worse than before and this time on the other side of my head.

With the headaches came tingling, both in the area of the pain (the tingling starts first actually) and on my neck… my back… my extremities. Clearly this seems to be either blood pressure related or a pinched nerve or a spine issue, but anyway it is not going away. It’s stressful and worrysome and of course I can no longer enjoy what for me was a new discovery because I’m afraid I’m going to have a stroke or something.

My follow-up with the neurologist was in November, and until today I felt like I would wait, but I no longer feel safe doing so. I tried calling today but they were already closed, so I suppose I will call tomorrow.

Iso Story Time Coloring Page: School Days 🏫🍎

I colored/edited another Iso Story Time Coloring Page by Tato! Just to clarify Tato gave me the go ahead to edit the line art, so it’s different from the original, which is available here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/38157602/

Thank you Tato for this lovely coloring page!

🍄 You may NOT copy, color, reference, repost or use this artwork in any way or claim it as your own. Copyright is © 2020 by Marina Neira McKinzie. Original coloring page by Tato on FA.

You Don’t Even Know Me

I hesitated to blog about this… but it’s still bothering me this morning, far more than I expected, so maybe I’ll feel better if I do. 😞

I hesitated, because giving “haters” too much space in your head plays into their game, it’s what they want, but I feel this person wasn’t specifically out to hate, but rather acting out on preconceived, incorrect notions.

You may have seen my other journal about the group I created, the Snail Club of FA. From that account, I searched the main page for snail art, and faved a lot of cute snail related art and photos. Among these, I favorited two incredibly adorable pieces from a really talented artist with a very charming style.

A few hours later, I received a Telegram message from this artist asking to unfavorite the work. My anxiety spiked immediately; I know even without seeing the full message what this is about. It’s like… the Tumblr mentality has a “smell” that moved on to Twitter, and then Twitter became rank and negative and those people became more active on FA instead, and that person’s message reeked in the same way. If you’ve been in these toxic sites (Twitter and Tumblr, I mean) you’ll know just what I am referring to.

Sure enough, this person’s profile page (which I hadn’t seen) listed babyfurs basically among zoophiles, pedos and nazis on their page, and asked them not to interact in any way.

It’s always odd to me, since I’m not even a babyfur or into diapers (though I am a Little) that people just make blanket assumptions about me. This person doesn’t know me. But they felt a need to reach out to me, creating far more interaction between us than that of my accidental favorites from an account with no babyfur content, to tell me the equivalent of “I think you’re such human scum that I don’t even want the far-removed association of you favoriting two artworks of mine”. While surely not put that way, it was certainly the implied meaning. They could simply have blocked me to avoid further interactions, but they wanted to cause pain to someone they view as inferior to them.

And I admit I was very angry. I was hurt. I didn’t respond, I blocked them everywhere, deciding not to remove the faves. It’s not like they could force me to. I didn’t break any FA rules. That’d show them, right? Right.

…But I did remove the faves, of course. I post on my page that I want no interaction from minors. This is not a FA rule, but a personal request that I am thankful to have honored. This was similar. And despite this person’s ignorance, I didn’t want to be the sort of prick that ignores their request, since I didn’t know that they didn’t want my interaction when I faved that art. It was an honest mistake on my part.

Maybe it’s because I used to be so close-minded to furries and babyfurs once, but it just makes me so damn sad. I wish some of these people who hate our community could see a meet, or come to one of our parties at a convention. Then they might see that it’s really just a bunch of shy adults coloring with crayons, playing in a ball pit, or playing with a giant Jenga tower. Many of them don’t wear diapers, the ones that do hide it well, and often are incredibly shy about it.

I know that for many people, it’s really the fact that people can be sexual and Littles at the same time that puts them off. But what do you expect? Littles/babyfurs are adults after all, and many, if not most, adults are sexual. It’s a need for many, like eating or drinking.

When Littleness is such an intrinsic part of someone’s personality, and that person isn’t asexual, then sometimes wires just cross. Not for everyone, but for many people, it just happens. As long as everything is happening between adults, why judge it?

This shouldn’t be so hard to grasp. It’s so odd to me that my 60+ year old sheltered mom understands babyfurs better than young people. 😔

But anyway. I digress. I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I guess sometimes I forget that people hate me simply for drawing baby animals in diapers, no matter how innocent or non-fetishy my work happens to be, even if I make all of my spaces 18+ to be safe.

Someone I could perhaps have been friends with, automatically hates me, thinks of me as garbage they don’t want touching them in the most indirect of ways, just because my friends are babyfurs or I draw them. Or maybe because I’m a Little.

I never knew when I joined the furry community that it would end up this way. I ended up in the babyfur side because it was the most fun, the most welcoming and friendly. So at least there’s that. But it’s odd, I went and joined a group of outcasts kind of by accident —outcasts within a group that, until not too long ago, were outcasts in society as a whole (and sometimes furries still kind of are, depending on who you ask.)

I don’t know. At the end of the day it’s so sad. I do feel better after writing all this down, so I guess it helped. But now I’m just sad instead. I try to be kind to everyone. I try to draw cute things to make people happy. I know some people aren’t going to like me, but I wish I had a chance to be disliked on my own merits rather than incorrect preconceptions.

Doesn’t always work that way though.

Getting Better At Cooking! ✨

I’ve been trying really hard to be a better wife to my husband cause he just does SO SO much for me and I feel like I fall so short. So at least I want to cook every day and to cook well. I don’t always succeed but I’m getting better and better, and since I try new recipes constantly, it’s kinda fun.

The other day we had catfish fillets with really good potatoes and kalamata olives and string beans salad. I made everything including prepping the fillets but I let Christopher fry them because they were SO expensive… $16.00 for four fillets! And I was too stressed about ruining them. Mostly I’ve been cooking without help though.

This was my favorite of all recent meals so I took a photo.

Join The Snail Club of FurAffinity! 🐌

Hey guys! I’ve created a new group on FA. Most of my “groups” are just an icon, not updated or monitored, just something to show on one’s profile page. For this one, I intend to have it be a little more active as opposed to simply an icon to slap on a page.

It’s for people who love snails and slugs, whether you have them as pets, like to draw them, have a snail sona, or anything like that: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/snailclub

Feel free to join and spread the word!