I’m grateful for my friends. I’m grateful for people who are here for me, who for whatever reason are interested in my long diatribes, who stand by me, who defend me, who judge me by my actions rather than the words of others. You make my life worthwhile. What would I be without you? I’d be much more alone, that’s for sure.
I’ve been blissfully unaware of this for all this time, but apparently, someone I once called a friend, who belongs to this community, has been saying some pretty horrendous stuff about me, indirectly and directly, privately and publicly. For my own mental health, I blocked every place this person is on, and I specifically added their pages to my block lists on the blocking software I use, including every new one. I try, really hard, to not let their words reach and hurt me. Because they really want to hurt me, and are actively trying to, as it has now become clear. Despite the falling out, I didn’t realize this was the case, until now.
Though I didn’t find out of my own accord, sometimes it’s good to be reminded that you have friends who care about you, and it’s good to be reminded that severing a toxic relationship was the right call.
Thing is, until now I just thought… we’re not a good match as friends. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. Right? Or so I thought. But, in spite of myself, I’m starting to feel differently. I hate feeling I’ve misjudged a person. Even when our once-mutual IRL friends told me otherwise multiple times, I kept thinking they were a good person. But maybe not. Maybe I see things through rose-colored glasses too much.
I feel as though I have a stalker. That’s a weird feeling to have. So, since I have not said this clearly until now (I didn’t think I had to) my message to this person is:
Get out of my spaces. My blog posts aren’t about you (by and large; after all, I was left pretty traumatized by your effect in my life, so sometimes, very rarely, you might be mentioned very indirectly, never by name, but you shouldn’t be reading this anyway?)
This one post though, definitely, 100% is about you! Ding ding ding! 🎉
Why are you reading my blog? Where do you get the time to read, in your own words, the “novels” I write about every boring little thing that happens in my life that up until very recently you were still actively trying to be a part of? You’re creeping me out. Get out of here. You are not welcome on this page. Why are you still obsessing about me? I’ve moved on. Why can’t you? There is no acceptable excuse for your behavior.
Is your life really so empty and boring that I have to be the topic of your subtweets, convos you have with mutual friends, and more? Like why, my dude? Just move on? Please? I reiterate:
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. Grow the F*CK up. Why are you here. Please stop stalking me. PLEASE.
This has been a public service announcement. 🤡