Tag Archives: My Hug

🍩 Jelly Donut 🍩

A short little while ago I bought a new bear. After the election stress, I wanted something to cheer me up, and also to commemorate the election.

I picked a panda for a very corny reason. I felt that, with his black and white colors, he symbolized the current polarized feelings very well, during a time in which nuance is lacking and middle ground seems practically nonexistent.

I dressed him up very patriotic, something I’ve never done with any bear before. I know I’m not the only one who hadn’t felt as much joy displaying the flag or patriotic things over the past four years. Someone writing to the opinion column the other day put it very well, saying something to the effect that the flag itself had somehow become politicized, to the point that you were assumed to belong to a specific party if you displayed it too much. I felt the same way, and it made me quite sad.

So now I have my little patriotic bear, and I’ve put up a little flag in my studio as well, with a promise to myself that come what may I’ll continue to display it proudly, because I’m part of America, too.

Why “Jelly Donut”? Well, believe it or not, there’s a patriotic thing to that as well. When my mom and I arrived to the USA on December 12, 2001 at just a little past 4:00am, one of the first places we went to was Dunkin’ Donuts. It was one of the few places that were open (7-11 and I would soon become fast friends too.) I had never had donuts before! I’ll never forget the smell when we walked in there. Whenever I walk into a Dunkin’ Donuts early in the morning today, those memories come flooding back.

Jelly Donuts are my favorite and one of the first I ever had, too.

So there you go. That’s the story behind my new bear.

State of The Squelf: Mid-October Edition 👻

I can’t believe it’s already Monday again. I can’t believe it’s already almost 6pm. Today flew by, yet it also dragged on. I don’t feel well overall.

Last week, Akumin called again to reschedule my cervical MRI: in spite of all the problems, my insurance approved it and it was moved to Tuesday. That was a relief. So I got that done.

Unfortunately, I goofed and forgot about my blood test appointment. So that added a week of time to that. I’ll be getting the blood drawn this Friday. I felt very stupid.

Last Thursday I had another headache. The difference here was that it was the first time that it happened when my husband and I were intimate. Up until now, it had only been a “by myself” problem. So that put a temporary damper on the evening. It wasn’t terrible, as I stopped in time, but it left me with a burning in the area of what I now know is my occipital nerves under my right ear. It’s a pressure, an ache, an annoying warmth. And that remained for days, varying in intensity, and I feel it even now. It’s deeply annoying, and coupled with my PMS and with physical needs that I cannot take care of for the foreseeable future, I am literally crawling up the walls. It’s the freaking worst.

CW: TMI ahead.

Sometimes I wish I’d never discovered orgasms. A little over a couple of months ago, I didn’t need them, and I was fine. Maybe I wasn’t always, but I didn’t know that it was a problem. Now I know what they are, and how to have them. And I can’t. I can’t because if I do it I feel like someone is torturing me with an ice pick, hammer and vice to the head, all in one. All of that —and not taking care of myself is STILL HARD. The frustration I’m feeling physically is so horrible, that if a solution to my headaches cannot be found, I’ll gladly take a pill to at least temporarily kill my libido. Because this is a horrible way to feel. It’s horrible.

Aaaaanyway…

I meant to introduce you all to Punkim. As far as Charlie Bears go, Punkim is very basic looking, but he’s big and fluffy. I think he’s my most down-to-earth bear. I like him lots and lots.

Here’s a couple of photos of Punkim before his outfit was complete. You can see his face (and his cute little bear pants) better:

And here he is in his full outfit:

Lately, Christopher and I have been playing a little of Ever17 every day. It’s a game that’s really important to him, and as we play, I can see why. It’s been a wonderful routine especially on the days he is home earlier, or on the weekends, to play together for an hour while having a snack.

I’ve been eating crushed dry ramen while playing which makes me feel like an absolute beast, but to tell the truth it’s one of the most delicious things I’ve ever had. You smash the ramen, pour it in a bowl, and then mix it with the powder. Try it! I discovered it after seeing it’s sold as a dry snack in Asian stores and it’s 100% the same thing as normal dry ramen.

(And yes, this is completely safe to eat, though you have to be careful with your teeth, and I can only vouch for Nissin brand as being safe to eat like this, but I do believe most ramen is pre-cooked. You’re just hydrating it.)

On Saturday night Christopher surprised me by taking me to our favorite ramen place. I was sure it had closed down. It really made my night!

I’m doing my best to push through commission work. But to tell the truth I have no motivation for anything… not drawing, writing, reading, gaming… nothing… 😞

Maybe tomorrow I’ll concentrate on giving the house a good cleaning. I think that has been bothering me. Maybe it will help, if only I can muster the motivation.

Oh, yeah. I want to deeply, deeply thank everyone who got slots for the Winter Friends YCH. While I’m still returning and reordering stuff from Amazon, overall my setup is improving daily. Getting used to some changes in my setup presents a challenge of its own, but I’m doing my best. Once I’m 100% all done, I’ll post photos of both completed setups.

I’m most excited to get my Redbubble stickers for my desk. I can’t wait to cover the desk in new stickers. ✨ 🌈

🐯 Rudyard Is Here!! 🐯

I’ve finally acquired one of my most wanted Charlie Bears for this year: Konig! I’ve named mine Rudyard. I knew he was a cute one but I was blown away when I opened the box!

Just look at his lovely paws and sweet face! 😭 I was almost in tears from joy. I can’t put into words how happy these bears make me. Nothing I’ve collected before makes me feel this way. They make these horrible times so much better.

He’s really big, too, one of my biggest Charlie Bears along with Wilfy (the one I call Toby.) I took a photo of Rudy with me for scale:

I’m gonna have him wear one of the Hal and Macy sweaters that are coming in the mail, but I haven’t decided what I’ll do about his outfit otherwise. Being so big, lots of baby clothes would fit him, so I’ll think about it carefully to give him the perfect look!

Burger and Movie Night 🍔 🎥

Well, it was supposed to be burgers and board games with friends but that didn’t pan out. However we had a perfectly wonderful day. Christopher took me to the mall for a walk. It was at his suggestion, and with that being a rare occurrence, I jumped on it despite my cramps.

I even brought Turrón along but I didn’t get any photos of her. I was a bit too under the weather (just physically though.) But we stopped at Build-a-Bear and got some panties for her. 🙊

Later we had coffee and a snack and watched a documentary on Action Park. I worked on a commercial commission while watching.

Tomoyo decided to hang around.

The documentary was great, very fascinating stuff. I think it is the third documentary on the subject that we have watched, and my favorite so far. Here’s a trailer if you haven’t heard of it. There’s also other documentaries on the topic available on YouTube:

Then we had burgers, and watched The Muppets (not the newest show but the one before that) and then we watched Face-Off (which made me realize I really don’t like action movies, but Christopher enjoyed it so much that I still had a great time.) Worked some more on commissions and then just cuddled.

That’s kind of it. Nice quality time with husband, good food, just a nice time. My cramps are pretty bad but I expect tomorrow I’ll be feeling much better.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Welcome, Mignon! 🐰🌈💕🥕

My little Mignon (AKA Cabbage Rose by Charlie Bears) arrived today! It’s odd, when I first took him out I didn’t like his face AT ALL. It was an instant, oh, back you go, buddy. I really did box him back up and start looking at the return process. He just looks… grumpy? Haha.

But I don’t know, I dressed, brushed him, and then suddenly I loved him. Basically I’m fickle as balls, okay. So he stays. I love how poseable his ears are.

He’s already joined me for date night snack, and is gonna be with me for dinner and Tetris and puzzle-making. 😁

Doesn’t he look cute in his sweater, too! It’s by HalandMacy on Etsy.

✨ Lotsa Goodies ✨

Okay I just finished a commission and it’s not too late so I think I can complete this post before bed!

We went to a game store on Saturday. Christopher allowed me to pick one cheap “kiddy” game for our date nights. I already have (and love) Kingdomino so I could not resist Dragomino by the same makers because… BABY DRAGONS. And, this time they had Takenoko, which I’d only seen the expansions for before. So we got that also:

Before visiting the game store, I spent a long time in a thrift shop since there was a social-distancing related wait to go into the game store anyway –and BOY did I score in there! Everything was half off, from already stupidly cheap prices. I spent less than $8.00 in everything.

I got some colorful furry-ish socks for myself, and several baby caps for my bears:

Also, even though I am no longer part of any organized religion, I still have both a soft spot and a great interest in anything religious that is geared towards children. This book was free (nice copy from 1964) so I took it.

It’s not as interesting as most “childhood indoctrination” books, which I now seek, but rather a sweet little collection of stories about Jesus, beautifully illustrated.

For such an old book, it is in beautiful condition.

At the Vero Beach Book Store, I got two “Gummy Bear” clip-ons, three lovely bookmarks (lenticular bookmarks are my favorite) and a book I’ve long wanted to read, Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain:

But here… now here is the best find. This was actually from the thrift shop, but I wanted to leave it for last.

This utter beauty, brand new in sealed bag and still protected with foam, was $7.99, but 50% off that price. It’s small, just right for my dear little bears. I couldn’t believe how utterly beautiful it was for the price, the condition, just. All of it. I was happier about this than anything else I got this weekend.

Already Dijon took possession of it, at least for now. Doesn’t she look adorable sitting on it? 😊💕✨💕✨

Other than these outings, I did get a lot of commission work during our stay and even worked on some gift art for my friend. Overall it was a wonderful weekend. I’m looking forward to working on the current chapter of Meganeea again tomorrow and perhaps even illustrating it during the week.

I will be having Hoppi dropped off tomorrow for my refund. Still awaiting Cabbage Rose (whose name will be Mignon) whom I know I will love, and a cheaper bear that tugged at my heart strings nonetheless. He will be named Barley. I’ve made necklaces for both already.

Now I have to decide which bear I’ll sleep with tonight… maybe Mudpie? 🤔