Tag Archives: My Hug

End of Christmas Weekend 🎄✨

Good morning everyone! Though Christmas is this week, our weekend Christmas with family is officially over (although my mom is coming on Christmas Eve.) Yesterday my sis and mom in law went home, but we enjoyed a very nice day together before they did.

I found Buddy and Sarah in the living room yesterday, on top of the projector screen:

In the morning the weather outside was so wonderful that I went out by myself to the porch to have my coffee with the cats.

It was chilly, but the sun felt so nice. I wish everyone had come with me, but they were inside in the dark living room (no windows) playing Animal Crossing, so 🤷‍♀️ but I had a nice little time to myself before I joined them.

Rosie sat on my lap, and was just so sleepy and a melted ball of hair and purrs.

Tomoyo would alternate between relaxing and running around with her little bursts of energy:

Kotoko quietly sunned herself…

Whilst I spent time there, I enjoyed watching the squirrels eat the food I put out for them.

Last week, our wonderful vet, Dr. Pisano, sent me a photo of Maddie in her Christmas tree:

You might remember Madeline and Croissant, our last two rats which joined our vet’s mischief when we decided to stop having rats for a while. Croissant sadly passed away this year from a tumor that Dr. Pisano found too advanced to remove, but Maddie is still enjoying life as you can see.

This past week, between his work and my Christmas preparations, Christopher and I didn’t have much quality time to ourselves. Even though I know he was really tired, after our family left he took me to a nice little local church event in the evening that had loads of Christmas lights and such. It was really romantic walking around together in that atmosphere even though the decorations were so old and corny.

Christopher took a photo of me next to one of the trees. I brought Ricky Parky with me; after a whole weekend of acting as non-Little as possible, being able to carry him around did wonders for my state of mind.

(I only took my mask off for the photo.)

Later at home we decided to give one more go to chestnut roasting. It’s our fourth try… we always got bad batches before.

It’s more work than you might think. You have to make a cut in every chestnut so they don’t explode in the oven. But first you boil them in order to moisten them:

Most of the floating ones tend to be bad, so we discarded those. It was only a few that floated, and indeed most of those weren’t good (mold inside.)

Then they go in the oven for 15 minutes:

After they come out, you wrap them tight in a towel for, I believe, ten minutes or so. Here they are fresh out of the oven:

The results were… okay? Chestnuts are weird. They’re very fleshy; meat-like, really. They taste good but it really feels like they should be eaten with something else, I just don’t know what. In the end Christopher didn’t like them but I had a few. Mostly I enjoyed the experience of roasting chestnuts together.

While they roasted I got the living room looking all festive for movie watching:

We watched another old movie, The Holly And The Ivy. It was nice. It just gives me so much unmitigated joy to watch these old movies with Christopher. It’s one of my more niche interests and to have him show a genuine interest in it makes me deeply happy.

Overall the evening together was delightful. All my stress melts away when I am with him.

The older we get and the longer we are married, the more I understand that “finding your home in a person” feeling. I know I complain a lot on my blog, sometimes I mention feeling very lonely in some aspects. That’s bound to happen sometimes… no relationship is perfect. But taking it as a whole I do think ours is one of the closest to perfect I have ever seen. I would be hard pressed to find a kinder man, who understands so much about me and accepts me so completely —even the parts he doesn’t understand.

But I am rambling, and today is going to be a busy day. I have to shower, take care of the snails and the rest of my chores, and then draw like there’s no tomorrow.

Oh —a final note because I noticed this literally as I am wrapping up the post. I just found Buddy and Sarah for the day! They were in the Furby area of my studio bookshelf:

I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful day, and please stay safe this week!

Nine Days Until Christmas! 🎁 🎄

Hi all! Did you have a good day? I wrapped more Christmas presents, finished two illustrations, and got a bunch of things done around the house. It was a pretty good day, all in all.

In the morning, I found Buddy and Sarah hanging from the fan together:

In reality, Christmas for us will start this weekend. As far as actual Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I’ll spend that with my mom and no one else, so she isn’t exposed to others. Christopher will go to his mom’s for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. And this weekend, my mom and sis in law are coming to celebrate an early Christmas with us.

I’m so excited for them to open their presents, even though one of the presents for my sis and one of the ones for Christopher almost certainly won’t arrive in time. 🙊 But I have a bunch of others for them to open. And I have presents for them to take home to Grandma and my mom in law’s super sweet roommate too.

Today I took pictures of my new Charlie Bears hedgehog, Holly, all dressed up. I think she looks very festive!

Holly is definitely among my top five Charlie Bears and not just because she’s the latest. She’s just so gorgeous and unique. I’m really glad I didn’t buy the Bearhouse collection hedgehog and held out for her instead.

Anyway not much else to say, I’m very tired, tomorrow I plan to clean the house a little and go shopping for empanada ingredients to make a nice meal for my family. 🥰 Goodnight everyone!

Holly Is Here 🎄🦔

My little Holly (original name Tootles) arrived today. Of all my Charlie Bears, she is the one with the biggest gap between when I wanted and ordered her, versus when I actually got to hold her.

I saw her early this year –February I think? and placed the order as soon as I could. I planned to cancel it if non-stock photos dissuaded me. Her stock photo just looked too good to be true. Then one video was released and that looked too good to be true, too. After months of waiting I just thought I had to be let down somewhat, somehow… but, no.

She’s stunning! The photos speak for themselves. Everything about her –her posing, facial expression, different types of fur, and generous size –everything about her is 110% perfect.

In the end, I settled for Holly as a name because it’s prickly and Christmasy. It seemed appropriate for my little Yule hedgie. 😊

At this point… Believe it or not, I’m considering putting my Charlie Bear purchasing sites in my “permanently blocked” website list. 😅 This was my second most wanted bear of the year. Now she’s mine. Eventually I do have to stop buying bears and I think if I remove the temptation it will be easy enough. Plus, HOPEFULLY next year I can enjoy my bears rather than just buy new ones. The pandemic has been a huge factor in my bear splurges.

Anyway! It’s time to finish my daily chores. I’ll post a photo of her outfit tomorrow!

It’s Cold, Man

I woke up miserably cold today and I have cramps but literally NOTHING matters because my Charlie Bears preorder that had been sitting for MONTHS and I had completely given up on… shipped!! 😭✨💕

Everything Charlie Bears got delayed this year –still, I’d been able to get my hands on nearly everything, other than Dreamer (which I could live without) and Tootles, which was a much, much bigger bummer. Tootles was my dream bear of 2020, second only to the incredible beauty I got from Christopher as my birthday present (Wilfy).

A hedgehog, and decently sized, I’d been dreaming of Tootles since January or February or whenever he was announced. Placed my preorder right away. But already because of COVID other bears didn’t make it to the USA this year (just Australia and UK) so I figured it was a lost cause until maybe sometime next year IF at all. I’m aware enough of CB trends now to know that this bear would become scarce very quickly, and get scalped all to heck. 😥 But I got lucky. That makes Tootles my Christmas present to myself, I suppose.

And, while it’s always possible my mind will change… with long-desired Tootles, I think maybe I’m done buying bears? I have so many now… They make me so happy. But I don’t think there can be any more bears that are uniquely different enough from my current ones. 🤔 Already this year there were bears that made me go “Wow, that is gorgeous” but I just didn’t feel a big urge to get them.

Right now if I close my eyes I can rattle off all my bears and their names. And trust me it’s a lot of them. I don’t want to get to a point where I can’t remember their names, or else they stop being special…

I could see myself going for one if Charlie Bears came out with a really beautiful dinosaur or dragon, that was decently sized, not mohair, and with a beautiful facial expression. But right now, it would take a very high standard of uniqueness for any new bears to join my hug. Like don’t get me wrong, I’m not “over” Charlie Bears. I can’t wait until I can take my current bears places for photos again. But, I’m more excited about that, than I am about the 2021 catalog.

Anyway I have no name or outfit planned for this bear because I was just not expecting to get him at this point. I might call him a Christmasy name… Tinsel? Since he’s a Christmas hedgehog. And having plenty of Christmas outfits he can wear if he should arrive in time for that. I hope so. I’d love to have him in all of the Christmas photos I take. 🎄🦔

🍩 Jelly Donut 🍩

A short little while ago I bought a new bear. After the election stress, I wanted something to cheer me up, and also to commemorate the election.

I picked a panda for a very corny reason. I felt that, with his black and white colors, he symbolized the current polarized feelings very well, during a time in which nuance is lacking and middle ground seems practically nonexistent.

I dressed him up very patriotic, something I’ve never done with any bear before. I know I’m not the only one who hadn’t felt as much joy displaying the flag or patriotic things over the past four years. Someone writing to the opinion column the other day put it very well, saying something to the effect that the flag itself had somehow become politicized, to the point that you were assumed to belong to a specific party if you displayed it too much. I felt the same way, and it made me quite sad.

So now I have my little patriotic bear, and I’ve put up a little flag in my studio as well, with a promise to myself that come what may I’ll continue to display it proudly, because I’m part of America, too.

Why “Jelly Donut”? Well, believe it or not, there’s a patriotic thing to that as well. When my mom and I arrived to the USA on December 12, 2001 at just a little past 4:00am, one of the first places we went to was Dunkin’ Donuts. It was one of the few places that were open (7-11 and I would soon become fast friends too.) I had never had donuts before! I’ll never forget the smell when we walked in there. Whenever I walk into a Dunkin’ Donuts early in the morning today, those memories come flooding back.

Jelly Donuts are my favorite and one of the first I ever had, too.

So there you go. That’s the story behind my new bear.

State of The Squelf: Mid-October Edition 👻

I can’t believe it’s already Monday again. I can’t believe it’s already almost 6pm. Today flew by, yet it also dragged on. I don’t feel well overall.

Last week, Akumin called again to reschedule my cervical MRI: in spite of all the problems, my insurance approved it and it was moved to Tuesday. That was a relief. So I got that done.

Unfortunately, I goofed and forgot about my blood test appointment. So that added a week of time to that. I’ll be getting the blood drawn this Friday. I felt very stupid.

Last Thursday I had another headache. The difference here was that it was the first time that it happened when my husband and I were intimate. Up until now, it had only been a “by myself” problem. So that put a temporary damper on the evening. It wasn’t terrible, as I stopped in time, but it left me with a burning in the area of what I now know is my occipital nerves under my right ear. It’s a pressure, an ache, an annoying warmth. And that remained for days, varying in intensity, and I feel it even now. It’s deeply annoying, and coupled with my PMS and with physical needs that I cannot take care of for the foreseeable future, I am literally crawling up the walls. It’s the freaking worst.

CW: TMI ahead.

Sometimes I wish I’d never discovered orgasms. A little over a couple of months ago, I didn’t need them, and I was fine. Maybe I wasn’t always, but I didn’t know that it was a problem. Now I know what they are, and how to have them. And I can’t. I can’t because if I do it I feel like someone is torturing me with an ice pick, hammer and vice to the head, all in one. All of that —and not taking care of myself is STILL HARD. The frustration I’m feeling physically is so horrible, that if a solution to my headaches cannot be found, I’ll gladly take a pill to at least temporarily kill my libido. Because this is a horrible way to feel. It’s horrible.


I meant to introduce you all to Punkim. As far as Charlie Bears go, Punkim is very basic looking, but he’s big and fluffy. I think he’s my most down-to-earth bear. I like him lots and lots.

Here’s a couple of photos of Punkim before his outfit was complete. You can see his face (and his cute little bear pants) better:

And here he is in his full outfit:

Lately, Christopher and I have been playing a little of Ever17 every day. It’s a game that’s really important to him, and as we play, I can see why. It’s been a wonderful routine especially on the days he is home earlier, or on the weekends, to play together for an hour while having a snack.

I’ve been eating crushed dry ramen while playing which makes me feel like an absolute beast, but to tell the truth it’s one of the most delicious things I’ve ever had. You smash the ramen, pour it in a bowl, and then mix it with the powder. Try it! I discovered it after seeing it’s sold as a dry snack in Asian stores and it’s 100% the same thing as normal dry ramen.

(And yes, this is completely safe to eat, though you have to be careful with your teeth, and I can only vouch for Nissin brand as being safe to eat like this, but I do believe most ramen is pre-cooked. You’re just hydrating it.)

On Saturday night Christopher surprised me by taking me to our favorite ramen place. I was sure it had closed down. It really made my night!

I’m doing my best to push through commission work. But to tell the truth I have no motivation for anything… not drawing, writing, reading, gaming… nothing… 😞

Maybe tomorrow I’ll concentrate on giving the house a good cleaning. I think that has been bothering me. Maybe it will help, if only I can muster the motivation.

Oh, yeah. I want to deeply, deeply thank everyone who got slots for the Winter Friends YCH. While I’m still returning and reordering stuff from Amazon, overall my setup is improving daily. Getting used to some changes in my setup presents a challenge of its own, but I’m doing my best. Once I’m 100% all done, I’ll post photos of both completed setups.

I’m most excited to get my Redbubble stickers for my desk. I can’t wait to cover the desk in new stickers. ✨ 🌈

🐯 Rudyard Is Here!! 🐯

I’ve finally acquired one of my most wanted Charlie Bears for this year: Konig! I’ve named mine Rudyard. I knew he was a cute one but I was blown away when I opened the box!

Just look at his lovely paws and sweet face! 😭 I was almost in tears from joy. I can’t put into words how happy these bears make me. Nothing I’ve collected before makes me feel this way. They make these horrible times so much better.

He’s really big, too, one of my biggest Charlie Bears along with Wilfy (the one I call Toby.) I took a photo of Rudy with me for scale:

I’m gonna have him wear one of the Hal and Macy sweaters that are coming in the mail, but I haven’t decided what I’ll do about his outfit otherwise. Being so big, lots of baby clothes would fit him, so I’ll think about it carefully to give him the perfect look!

Burger and Movie Night 🍔 🎥

Well, it was supposed to be burgers and board games with friends but that didn’t pan out. However we had a perfectly wonderful day. Christopher took me to the mall for a walk. It was at his suggestion, and with that being a rare occurrence, I jumped on it despite my cramps.

I even brought Turrón along but I didn’t get any photos of her. I was a bit too under the weather (just physically though.) But we stopped at Build-a-Bear and got some panties for her. 🙊

Later we had coffee and a snack and watched a documentary on Action Park. I worked on a commercial commission while watching.

Tomoyo decided to hang around.

The documentary was great, very fascinating stuff. I think it is the third documentary on the subject that we have watched, and my favorite so far. Here’s a trailer if you haven’t heard of it. There’s also other documentaries on the topic available on YouTube:

Then we had burgers, and watched The Muppets (not the newest show but the one before that) and then we watched Face-Off (which made me realize I really don’t like action movies, but Christopher enjoyed it so much that I still had a great time.) Worked some more on commissions and then just cuddled.

That’s kind of it. Nice quality time with husband, good food, just a nice time. My cramps are pretty bad but I expect tomorrow I’ll be feeling much better.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!