It’s exhausting, even though this year I’m decorating less, and not dressing my entire hug (just one bear I have yet to pick). But I am determined to finish today.
I went ahead and redecorated the blog, updated my icon everywhere, added a Christmas touch to my FA as well. Even though I’m not super in the mood I guess I hope to help others get a little more festive? The blog has lots of little holiday details to find, including updated music on the player.
Christopher wanted to take advantage of a Best Buy sale today, so we went out! I wore my new ODU onesie that Yookey designed. It has the cutest pastel dinos all over it:
Christopher has really been spoiling me lately. He got me another new game, Giraffe and Annika: Musical Mayhem Edition, which I’ve promised myself I will not open until I’ve finished Code: Realize / Guardian Of Rebirth.
This game just looks like the cutest thing from the box alone! It’s also quite well reviewed.
It’s a big thick box, comes with lots of goodies: a CD with the soundtrack, an art book and three patches!!
We also had McDonald’s for lunch. It was a really cheerful outing. Christopher tempered his spoiling of me with savage one liners such as:
Me: "I love this game already, it looks so stupid and cute."
Him, patting me on the head in front of the cashier: "Just like you!"
And, upon me commenting about it being a one-player game:
Today was a pretty good day, other than a bunch of bug bites bothering me after mowing the lawn yesterday (no seriously… they are driving me mad! I got so many, too!)
Let’s see… Tomoyo seems to be improving (again), I got a LOT of commission work done, played video games, adjusted my Internet blocks so that now the amount of time I spend on FA is also drastically reduced, and made a double-extra-check to ensure certain sources of online toxicity were blocked down to a molecular level on my permanent block list, the one I can never access even when my blocks are off.
I’m using a new Internet blocking app. Switched from FocusMe to Cold Turkey Blocker and it’s so much better, less buggy, and more flexible. I can access FA at certain times now, but some profiles that could have been sources of just… bad stuff, are blocked forever and I can never see them again. That feels SO good. 😌
As far as games, I’m still playing Code: Realize ~Guardian of Rebirth~ and it’s fun. I thought Lupin was the main love interest and I like him a lot, but I haven’t figured out how to pursue him, so my interest went in another direction. But as far as looks, he’s definitely the best…
Maybe it’s the top hat. Anyway I ended up going after Van Helsing somehow. I like the hard to get type.
Yeah… I’m sure that’s all it is…
Overall thoughts so far: this story takes so many liberties with its historical inspirations that the glossary is basically to explain how X thing that means this in the real world breaks the rules in the world of the game. It’s so blatant that it’s funny. Vampires make ZERO sense in this game. The dog sounds like a barking human rather than a dog. And I’ve caught a few typos.
But overall… I can see myself playing it a few times, and getting the sequel.
Anyway I’m tired and I have a long day of commission work ahead so it’s goodnight from me!
I realized last night that I completely forgot to blog about my little mid-week outing! Christopher had to go get another, second (or is it third?) COVID test (finally negative!) and he dropped me off at C. B. Smith Park to pick me up a while later.
The park was open for the first time in a very, very long time. With it being the middle of the week, it was really empty and just windy, and lovely! When first entering, I took this photo of a squirrel on a bicycle. I think I’d seen it before but never taken a photo, it was such a cute and quirky thing:
I began to walk towards whatever might be a good spot to draw at. It was so calm. Iguanas and flowers everywhere.
Here’s a friend I met on the way. This installation is in front of Paradise Cove, the water park, which was closed, of course. There was an eerie feel to the water park, all empty and quiet like that.
It didn’t take me long to find a perfect spot by the water, in spite of some anthills under the table. I was careful with those and got all set up.
I finished one of the sketches I owed, which I posted the other day:
It was a lovely time even if I didn’t get to stay very long. Christopher was picking me up before I knew it.
Lordy! 😱 I woke up to a bunch of concerned DMs, to people trying to guess who I’m talking about/asking who they are, etc, and because my friend Natedraws is dealing with a stalker of his own (a situation far more serious than mine) I want to clarify some things.
🌈 1. Yes, Nate’s journal/blog post yesterday was directed primarily at my stalker, and prompted by their behavior. I think all parties involved know this, so it’s okay for me to say, but I am saying it here so people aren’t confused. The person was once a mutual friend of us.
🌈 2. The ex-friend stalking me is not a long-standing member of the community. They are local to me (or used to be). Because I make an effort not to crap talk about others (unlike them) most of you do not know them at all, unless we are so close that you couldn’t help but be part of my breakdowns of the last two years, then you’d probably know. They account-hop and change names constantly, so that should eliminate a lot of people you’re thinking about. Thankfully, there is no one else in the community that I have once called a friend who would do what this person is doing, and while my level of closeness with people in the community ebbs and flows naturally, there is no one else I could describe as an “ex-friend” when it comes to the furry/Little community.
TL/DR: You almost definitely don’t know who they are, and for the sake of civility I prefer to keep it that way.
🌈 3. Nate has a stalker of his own, a different person. Nate’s latest blog post and FA journal were directed at that stalker. That person (whom I do not know at all) is a more well known member of the community. It is NOT the same person stalking me.
I hope that clarifies things, and here’s hoping we have some peace, because this has gone on way too long for both of us. The title of my other journal may have been a bit triggering for people who are very paranoid in nature, and I apologize if it caused distress. I wanted to be forceful in my message to this person. But no, it’s not you, unless you have been asked to leave my life, and then proceeded to stalk my blog and FA so you can make petty, mean-girl subtweets about it, while venting venomously about me to a mutual friend who is caught up in the middle. There is only one person doing this, and if it isn’t you, then the post isn’t about you.
I’m sorry for anyone who was stressed out, and for anyone who is tired of this drama. You all have never seen me make such a post in over eight years in the fandom, I’ve never had to, and I hope this is the end of this topic.
Weeeell! Let’s follow that up with something less dramatic and petty, yeh? Forgive me, I do have to let the petty out once in a while. All better now!
Here’s today’s mail. First, a new book, and a new phone case! The phone case is from AliExpress. I’m so glad to finally have a snail case!
There’s one more book I am waiting for: The Alchemist’s Cat by Robin Jarvis, Book 1 of The Deptford Histories. I’m looking forward to returning to that world.
Next, the Warcraft stuff I mentioned before! Ok so the pillow is like… WAY bigger than I thought which is just amazing, because it’ll be a perfect iPad support pillow that will allow me to keep my back more straight:
And here is the mat. Oh, it is glorious.
It smells like a new car. A smell I’m not normally crazy about but I like it for some reason in this particular case.
Anyway. Pillow fluffy. Mat pretty. Sale was a good sale. Glad I held out and didn’t buy before, and now I can’t get poked by stray nails on my desk.
Hello! I’m back with a “normal” post. It’s been a while and all I have been doing is posting insufferable rants about the election and about online stuff, while accumulating less annoying, more pleasant topics on the side. Now there’s a lot of that, so I might as well make a couple big posts of it to chase away the less fun ones. Or maybe more like four. Anyway here’s the first.
🌈 Health Stuff 🌈
Disclaimer: Please do not comment with any sort of medical advice. I’m going to ask my doctor about this is if it continues. Please bear in mind I’ve had an incredibly exhaustive amount of blood work and a spine MRI last month, so anything very serious would have popped up. I have been suffering from paresthesia in other ways, and my doctor is aware.
Today I woke up to my left leg being completely numb down to my foot.
It was the second or third time of this happening in a week, and just as frightening as the other times. I jumped out of bed this time, desperate to feel my limb again, quite literally punching my foot because not feeling it is so scary. I don’t even feel pins and needles for a while. Any feeling takes 20-30 seconds to come back, and when it does the pins and needles aren’t as intense as they would normally be upon losing feeling on an entire body part. It’s really disconcerting.
What makes it particularly odd is that I wake up just as I fell asleep: on my back, without any apparent constriction to any area of my body.
It’s just puzzling and scary, and today I woke up feeling garbage-y in general due to my period and everything I did yesterday, so I have cramps and my legs hurt.
As far as COVID-19 goes, Christopher appears to be over it. When we stopped isolating from each other, we celebrated by ordering sushi:
The CDC (along with the contact tracer who called us both) says he and I are free to resume our normal lives as of last Monday, and we have done so.
Now, the CDC doesn’t recommend that you judge whether or not you can go back to work by a test result. You can have remnants of the virus for 14+ weeks after you first get symptoms, which will cause tests to still say positive though you aren’t contagious (and in fact one of my husband’s coworkers tested positive for THREE. MONTHS.) Christopher continues to test positive (twice now) so while he no longer has to isolate, he can’t go back to work because his job won’t follow CDC advice and instead requires two negative tests to allow employees to return.
In addition to this, it would seem Christopher didn’t develop antibodies. As for me, I never had symptoms.
At the end of the day I very much hope that this whole mess somehow keeps us from attending Thanksgiving. Of course I love and want to see my family, especially given Grandpa’s passing in July. But I am deeply concerned about the holidays and about Grandma, and I think everyone is being completely careless. Someone in the newspaper described this year as being at war, and how their grandmother during WW2 couldn’t be with her husband due to deployment. It was war, everyone understood and had happier holidays in later years.
This is war too, only after a different enemy, which requires us to make a conscious decision not to gather. I really hope a big family gathering won’t happen, for everyone’s safety… a vaccine is in the horizon… I want us all to be able to enjoy the holidays next year and many years more.
🌈 Studio 🌈
Earlier, I mentioned the stuff I did yesterday, which left me tired and sore. So, you all have heard much from me at this point regarding my workspace being uncomfortable, and all the commissions I took to raise money to fix it, buying things such as a foot rest, an arm for my Cintiq, a new chair, and several other things I had to return because they didn’t work. I’ve spent hours arranging things in different ways to find a new, more comfortable position.
Really, it’s not only that, though. Normally I also get to draw at my mom’s twice a month (if in a very ergonomically unfriendly situation) or I go to the park, or to Starbucks, to draw and write. But this year I haven’t done that. It’s getting to me. It’s really getting to me. I miss people watching really badly. My environment never changes. I’m not bored, but I’m restless and lonesome for people, rather than any one individual person.
So yesterday I did something more drastic, and moved my entire setup by a couple of feet, freeing the window area which improves my mood. I can see the street, and more light comes in. I also put a little plant there:
It took a ton of work to make this fairly small shift, as well as unplugging everything and plugging it back in, but now it’s done, and as I use it this afternoon, it seems… okay, I guess. After trying so many things, I’m hesitant to get too excited about anything, but I’m trying to be optimistic.
For an added change of pace, I began working on traditional art in the library:
I’ve been taking sketch commissions for the first time in years, and while I am rusty, it’s fun so far:
I eventually bought a slanted drawing board by Falling In Art, which made work more comfortable there, and I can easily move to other places:
Here it is in use:
Sometimes, Kotoko keeps me company. I try to keep a little bed for her wherever I work:
I’ve also had a new bear for company, Jelly Donut. I’ll talk more about him in his own post, but here’s a photo of him, taken before his outfit was put together:
🌈 Snails 🌈
I stopped writing about this every time it happened, but the truth is, snails from my first clutch are dying. These seem to be sudden deaths of otherwise quite healthy snails and my other snails are doing well enough. I can only guess that the parents really had bad genes, and were probably siblings, which would not be surprising.
Most of the milk snail clutch consists of runts, as it is now apparent. I’m giving it a little more time, but though I am loath to do it, a cull to prevent suffering will probably have to happen soon.
Only four of the roman snail eggs have hatched.
🌈 Cats 🌈
You might remember that Tomoyo had a serious bladder infection of some sort. It was a bad time. She’s all better now. Kotoko is also responding well to the Gabapentin for her joint pain.
🌈 New Game 🌈
Christopher got me a new game, Code: Realize / Guardian of Rebirth (visual novel game names are so freaking cryptic, I swear.) I haven’t started playing it yet (maybe later today) but I am really excited about it because it’ll be the first visual novel I play all on my own, and it’s an otome, so that’s doubly exciting.
That would be all for this post. I still have to share a little about books I have been reading, and about Jelly Donut, and Ever17, which we just finished playing. but I’ll save that for separate posts. Thank you for reading this one!
Pandemic life was already really weird. For many people stuck at home, sometimes it’s hard to know what day of the week it is –our little routines are what gives us a sense of time and place, rather than the calendar alone.
I’m always home, so I rely on those time “markers” all the more. With Christopher relegated to the guest room as he recovers from COVID and our daily routine completely out the window, it’s even more disconcerting. It’s Sunday? I think? It feels like I’m living the same day over and over.
My mind is on the holidays a lot. I realized that the idea of spending them with just my mom is flawed. My mom is the one person I truly can’t be with, at least not without constantly disinfecting surfaces and wearing masks. I really don’t know what I’m going to do… no matter what, someone will likely be mad at me or hurt by my decision.
Anyway. Today I completed another commission. Even as I do so, a thought that goes around my head a lot is… I wish to just stop taking commissions. I really do. I know I won’t. Maybe I could at least scale it back dramatically? I need to go back to traditional work, to drawing for me, to my books, which see sporadic bursts of intense work before commissions swallow me yet again. I want to return to sitting in front of my drawing board thinking hmm, what should I draw? And having a chance to ponder because I don’t have a list of 20 things to get through. To daring to try new things because there isn’t a set expectation that I need to deliver upon.
Don’t get me wrong… I don’t hate drawing for other people, I’m just trying to find whatever it is I lost years ago, in regards to focusing on things other than furry and commissions, and I don’t know if I can do that without a serious scaling back of taking new work. But I’ve tried that before, and it didn’t quite work. I could try again, though.
I did draw something for myself today though. Made some new banners for the headers of individual blog posts. I have to admit, this blog really makes me so happy. Ever since I have it, it became less about showing off items I bought (I don’t count my teddies… I feel I’m just introducing new friends with those) and more about my life, my art, my books. You know. Meaningful things.
I have just a handful of followers and the only frequent commenter has been my good friend Nate, yet, this lack of interaction from the “masses” hasn’t been bad at all, rather, the complete opposite, I feel more free to write what I want and speak my mind.
It’s funny, when I was young, I wanted to be famous. I wanted lots of eyes on me. Now I want the complete opposite. Fame is not just overrated, it’s terrifying. At least in our Internet age.
Anyway that’s it for today’s ramble. Christopher isn’t better or worse, he’s always been pretty okay except for the first day. We’re being super careful though. As you can expect, Kotoko is missing him terribly. She’s been spending time with the other cats, but surprisingly hasn’t been looking for love from me much (which she normally does a lot.)